Poor (snotty, slimy, cranky) little baby.

KC is sick. It didn’t appear bad enough to go to the doctor on Friday like I probably should have. She got a runny nose and sniffles more than a week ago, but nothing else. We’ve seen that before, and despite the constantly flowing river of mucus, she remained happy and active. However, I have resorted to keeping a roll of toilet paper in the living room. She has quit trying to escape when we attempt to wipe her off, which is about every 15 minutes.

On Thanksgiving she started coughing a little, and then some more on Friday. She also had a very slight fever on Friday, but still she played and acted normal. Then, last night, she developed a fever of almost 102. High enough to finally make her act unhappy. A little medicine works like a charm to perk her up, but she’s definitely sick. She slept in my lap for a long time today. I hate knowing she feels lousy, but it’s kind of sweet when she cuddles with me like that. Too tired to play.

Talk about a good excuse for Ted and I to veg out too. We aren’t sick (knock on wood), but I’ll jump on the chance to lay on the couch and do nothing for two straight days. I must confess that I’ve been in my pajamas since Friday night. Not the same ones. I have had to change a couple of times due to the snot trails on my shoulders.

At the moment, KC is up and playing again. The long nap obviously did her some good. No medicine needed since early this morning either. Fingers crossed the fever stays away tonight. If she’s still got the same cough tomorrow, it’s off to the doctor. That much mucus can’t be a good thing.

Breaking From Tradition

F***ing Betty Crocker strikes again. Ted just finished baking two pies. We are getting ready to put in a turkey soon. Why would we be cooking turkey the day after Thanksgiving you ask? Well, that’s just how we roll.

Today we are having our Thanksgiving dinner a day late at Ted’s parent’s. His Mom prepped the turkey and we are cooking it. Her new oven, which replaces one that tends to quit cooking with no warning, doesn’t come until next week. Slightly bad timing, but no matter. We live close.

We are having our feast today because it was just easier for everyone. Ted’s sister has a pretty large extended family on her in-law’s side, and it’s hard for them to be in two places at once. Can’t say I blame them. This worked for all of us, so here we are. Soon GG will arrive to join us for our post-traditional-day-of-thanks par-tay. It needs to start soon. I can’t wait to dig into those pies. They are seriously calling my name.

Yesterday didn’t go by without any feasting though. Last night “Betty” made a pretty damn awesome shepard’s pie from scratch. Even mashed the potatoes. We just had the leftovers for lunch. However, even though we had the day off and we sat and watched the Macy’s Parade, it just didn’t feel like Turkey Day. Not without the turkey. Today it feels like Thanksgiving. Funny what good food can do.

The Devil vs. The Angel

It’s the season for giving thanks. Being completely grateful for all you have and not wanting something more, something different can be tough. It’s a struggle to stay focused on what’s important in a society that can be so shallow and materialistic.

We do have our good side, to be sure. Lots of people, both wealthy and poor, do good every day. You’ll see it if you pay attention. However, if you watch enough TV, movies, surf the net and read enough junk publications (I do!) you certainly can’t help but notice how addicted we are to stuff and how much importance we place on physical beauty, status and a cool image.

We all waffle back and forth between the truth deep in our hearts, and what is just in our heads. Probably daily. Here’s some of the stuff that plagues me, and the real truths that I hope to keep close when that little devil whispers in my ear.

***

I wish I had…a bigger house, new car, more clothes, no debt, fancy vacations. Basically, I wish I had more disposable income.

I am grateful that I have…clothes on my back, way to much stuff as it is, money to feed my family, a nice home in a good area.

***

I wish Ted and I both had…bigger salaries, no need for extra income, and the luxury for one of us to stay home with KC if we wanted to.
I wish Ted specifically had…more time for vacations and a job he liked better.

I am grateful that Ted and I both have jobs with good benefits when many are losing theirs, or never had one to begin with.

***

I wish my…boobs were bigger, body was slimmer, teeth were straighter, face was younger, hair was not going grey.

I am grateful for…my very healthy, average body, my sense of humor, my talents, and a husband who always tells me I’m beautiful.

***

I wish I had…more time for myself, the ability to lay around all day on a Saturday, the luxury of spur of the moment outings with no babies, and no overwhelming sense of responsibility for another person’s development.

I am grateful for the healthy, happy, silly, crazy, beautiful little girl who has turned our world upside down. Especially knowing some people cannot easily have children of their own, or have lost children.

***

It isn’t difficult for me to snap back to reality and realize that I have it pretty good. A lot of my complaints are trivial. Some of the less trivial things we complain about, like debt and stress, could surely be changed if we try.

My family is incredibly blessed. So many around the world suffer such injustice and hardship. Even in the face of great loss, or disappointment, I can still sit back and say that I am very lucky. I hope to pass on a sense of this to KC. To make sure she appreciates how lucky she is, and that there are more important things in life than money, a perfect image and cool stuff.

She’ll face these same struggles though. It’s pretty much a guarantee. As she grows, there are bound to be times when she looks at the friend next door with the bigger room and the cooler toys and starts to think…Hmm. I sure wish I had… Don’t we all?

Happy Thanksgiving to you. Today I am thankful for all the stuff I mentioned above, and for my wonderful family and friends. May you all be as blessed as I am.

Pregnant Pause #2 – Better Than TV

Another installment in my diary of memories from before the blog. I’m desperately trying to recall these moments. Amazing how time has flown and how many details I lose with each passing day.

* * * *

One of my coolest memories of being pregnant with KC was the first few times I really felt her move. In the beginning it’s tough to tell if it’s a baby you are feeling, or maybe lunch. Sorry to be gross, but it’s true. They say it feels like bubbles. Yeah. I know some other things that also feel like bubbles. Seriously though, when you first recognize that little being moving around it’s kind of awesome.

Awesome like the first ultrasound. I was lucky enough to get one of those early on. They don’t typically do it until about 5 months if nothing is wrong. At my very first appointment to confirm my condition, the doctor had a slight question as to whether I was viably pregnant. Talk about a scary few hours for Ted and I. Turned out all was fine and we got an early peek inside.

FYI, even when it’s your own ultrasound it looks like nothing but a grainy mess. Seriously. Don’t believe those women who claim they can see their baby in there. They lie. Or they delude themselves.

I had plenty of the typical “oh, wow! feel this!” moments as the months wore on. Usually, she’d stop moving right as I tried to get someone’s hand in the correct spot, but sometimes she’d put on a real show.

The best movement was toward the end. I could actually see a large bump move across my hyper-extended stomach. That’s insanely entertaining. Way better than TV. I would sit on the couch some evenings and just stare at my tummy hoping to catch every single flip and roll. I once tried to get the cat to watch too. Just to see if he’d notice and try to “catch” the baby bump. You know, like cats sometimes do with your hand under a blanket? He never did it though. I guess it wasn’t as transfixing to him.

Now I watch KC play, eat, bathe, laugh, pout, give the poo face…you name it. I love watching her. I used to have that problem where as long as a TV was in the vicinity I could not help but stare at it. Now it’s her that transfixes me. If you are with me and trying to have a conversation, good luck if she’s around. I only half pay attention to others when I’m on mommy duty.

However, it’s really more than just mommy duty. It’s true love at it’s most basic level. I find myself staring at her sometimes when I don’t need to be watching. While she putters around, while Dad holds her and plays with her, or while she’s falling asleep in my lap.

I constantly watch her, and as a result, I know her very well. What certain actions mean, certain sounds. I can anticipate her needs. I can read her moods. I suppose most moms can do these things. It’s in our nature. We are connected to them. We are bonded.

Dad is nurturing too, he is. But in different ways. He helps, and plays and teaches and hugs. He doesn’t notice as readily as me that she’s squirming in just such a way that she really needs the pillow/blanket/pjs/bottle adjusted to fall asleep most comfortably in his lap. Those little tiny cues are picked up by mom radar.

Below is a silly photo of me in my last month. I liked being pregnant. It was an easy 9 months for me to be honest. Easier than I imagined it would be. Here’s hoping if we go for number two, I get that lucky again.

Sexy, no?

The beginning of the end for kitty.

Baby-proofing is for sissies, and giraffes are hard to tame.

There are lots of hard edges in my house. There are surfaces, like hardwood floors and tile everywhere. There are steep, wooden stairs to the 2nd floor that I have barely let KC practice on yet. The coffee table in our living room is just waiting for the day she trips and knocks out a tooth. It has not happened yet, but the potential is there. I have seen too many near misses. They make these odd plastic bumper things to go on table edges. I find them silly. Unless they attach securely and permanently (which I doubt) any baby worth his formula would figure out how to pluck it off and use it for a chew toy.

In case you are picturing a house like the Flintstone’s, you should know there is an area rug under the table in the living room, and the couch is pretty soft, but that’s it. Ok, our beds are soft too, but that’s definitely it.

As far as normal baby-proofing goes, we have gates, we have some electrical outlet covers, and we put big fat rubber bands on a few cabinets in the kitchen. I’m about to graduate to real cabinet locks as KC is getting stronger. So, you see, we aren’t total mavericks. No need to give a small child access to glass and poison. Otherwise, we’ve moved anything that is really harmful or breakable to places that cannot be reached and I keep the bathroom closed so she cannot access water by herself.

Ok, so maybe baby-proofing isn’t really for sissies. That’s unfair. Bean bags and soft, fluffy carpet, however, are totally for sissies. I’m right. You know I am.

Now that she’s walking (and running) KC has pretty free reign of the main areas downstairs. We keep an eye on her for sure, but we don’t shadow her like anxious bodyguards. During the first few months, maybe until she was about 6 months old, I worried a lot about how/where she might get hurt in our house. I’ve pretty much gotten over it. I cannot change the fact that she’s going to fall, or run and bump her head. KC plays hard. She and her Dad together are a trip. They chase each other around all the time. Ted is one of those Dads who likes to hang his child upside down, swing her around and generally do stuff that makes my breath catch in my throat. She loves it, of course.

KC is goofy at heart just like her Dad. The other night she got a hold of a big stuffed giraffe that belonged to me as a baby. She loves this thing. She immediately figured out that she could “ride” on his back. It’s not the best fit, as his back is short and kind of slanted, but she gave it a good go anyway. Bouncing furiously, almost maniacally, and laughing and huffing and puffing. It’s really a shame I didn’t catch it on video. Luckily, she got back on to try again. This time I did grab the camera to record. Just a few seconds into her “ride” she fell off. Nothing major, she got right back on…and…fell off the other side. Hard. Really hard.

When Ted and I watched the video playback tonight, the loud bang of her head hitting the door frame was appalling. The fall resulted in a lump, a bruise and a smallish red scrape. She cried for about, I don’t know, like, 10 seconds. I tried in vain to put a cold cloth to her head. She wasn’t having it. Still pouting and teary-eyed, she walked back to the bedroom and tried to get back on the giraffe. That’s our girl. She’s quite the roughneck, for a chick.

I won’t post the video for fear I will be ridiculed as one of those parents by anyone who doesn’t know me. Maybe even by those who do. You know, the parent who holds a video camera and laughs as her child engages in potentially dangerous activity. Never mind that the giraffe is only about 6 inches off the ground. No, I won’t post the video, but we did keep it in the archives. It’s a tad funny even with the sickening whack. Funny, because she’s fine. I did mange to get some good photos of the giraffe ride before it went awry. I’ll leave you with those.

Freestyle Giraffe Riding Could Become a Sport

This is where it got a bit crazy.

Here's a better ending than the aforementioned face-plant.

Now that’s what I call a successful weekend.

I am happy to report that I did something creative this weekend. Unfortunately, it was not one of the things on my list, but it’s a start. I began making some Christmas gifts. Given these “tough economic times” (are you as sick of that phrase as me??), I decided it would be frugal. Plus, I happen to have lots of really cool stuff with which to make nice gifts for girls.

Sidebar: Anyone who has gotten homemade stuff from me before, relax. It’s not a crudely-made scarf, a necklace, or anything really big and strange.

I will still need to shop in order to complete my Christmas gift giving. Not everyone will be getting a homemade gift. I don’t do guy stuff. Unless you consider food items guy stuff. I suppose I could make Chex mix again.  Mmmmm, Chex mix.

The key to finally getting my ass in gear: I cleared a big space on my kitchen counter. I worked at it on and off all day Sunday while watching KC play in the downstairs area that spans the living room and kitchen. It’s kind of a pain to have that stuff laying all over the counter, but hell if it isn’t the most convenient method. With it all up high, KC cannot touch it and I can easily stop what I’m doing and just leave it there without worry. Brilliant! Maybe next I’ll tackle those paintings I want to do for her room.

Creatively Constipated (Or, the longest post ever.)

I come up with a lot of creative ideas on a fairly regular basis. I buy materials and start some, I make notes about others, some are just beginning to form, but they are definitely in there. Rattling and rolling around like brilliant marbles. I just can’t seem to get any of them out.

My creative to-do list is getting long. Here it is if you care at all. Make sure you’ve got time to kill.

1) Original Artwork for KC’s Bedroom

I actually bought paint and little canvases before she was born. Still haven’t started. Ok, I did do some crappy sketches. I’ve recently started thinking I should do them by Christmas for a special gift. We’ll just see if that happens.

2) A Thanksgiving-inspired Wreath

This one’s very new. I bought a plain wreath made of twiggy-type stuff. I got some fake pretty, fall-colored foliage and berries to add to it. Simple, but pretty. I managed to forcefully jam the berry thingy’s into the wreath and very crudely wrap the ends so it stays. I’ll need to get creative with floral wire and maybe ribbon to add the leaves and stuff. Otherwise it will just look like shit. What’s the point if it looks like shit? I need to go out of the house and actually buy the ribbon, so it sits. Waiting. It’s almost Thanksgiving. Maybe I can use it next year.

3) Convert my jewelry website into a graphic design portfolio site.

This is a big one. I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. The jewelry site was a fun way to show the stuff I created over the course of about one year. (Yes, it was most definitely before KC came along.) I also hoped to sell the stuff (which, I did) and, more importantly, I used it to get practice with web design.

I’m no longer finding time to make new jewelry, but I do a lot of freelance design (in addition to my full-time gig as designer for PSDA). An online portfolio is a must, and it’s crazy that I don’t have one. It’s just tough to make time for my own stuff when I’m always working on someone else’s designs. Shame on me, but there you have it.

If you haven’t seen the jewelry site and are curious check it out here. I just had a bargain basement sale on all of it, because it’s over 2 years old and somebody really needs to wear this stuff. I still have a handful of pieces left if you want them.

4) Turn the (yet to be created) design site into a double site for both Ted and I.

My husband has the same disease I do. Too many cool ideas. Talent to do creative things. Not nearly enough time/energy to make them all happen. We talk a lot. We need to DO more. We dream of making money off our creative ventures. Who doesn’t?! We both make some money with our side work, but it surely wouldn’t support us outright. Maybe when we are retired it will cushion that social security income.

5) Design my husband’s logo, or seek a marriage counselor. I’m weighing my options.

For those who don’t know, Ted does some side work too. He’s got mad carpentry, metal work and handy man skills. Friends ask for help and word of mouth gets him varied jobs on a fairly constant basis.

It’s really a shame that I haven’t done this logo for Ted. He’s been giving me input on it for over a year. Plus, I love designing logos so it should be easy. It’s totally not. I want to do it in my style, but it’s not mine so I can’t be that selfish. He’s given it serious thought, and come up with sketches. I cannot just toss them aside. I must draw them up and maybe sneak in some others that are more “me”. I do that all the time for client’s, and they usually bend to my subtle will. They see my new idea (alongside theirs) and the light goes on. “Oh, yes!” they say. “You are so right! That is what it should look like.” Yes, folks. That’s why they pay me the big bucks.

I have not really tried this yet with Ted’s logo. He has very definite ideas of what he likes. Sometimes I agree and sometimes I don’t. His logo sketches are good. I mean that. But, the designer in me wants to plaaaay. Waaah. I am sort of afraid to put too much effort into one I love only to have him go, “Eh.” Because, you know, ouch. I know he will resist me more than another client would. And, in this case it’s personal. hmmmm. That’s a toughie.

6) Write a Children’s Book

Yes, that’s right. Write it and illustrate it. “About what?” you say. I have no f-ing idea just yet. But I have two very old-schooly composition notebooks just waiting to be filled with words. I even started jotting a couple of ideas, but it’s hard. I suppose it’s an insult to real writer’s of children’s literature that so many people (I’m guessing since I think I can) think that writing a 5 page board book would be a breeze. “I’m a creative person! I can do this!”, we all (probably) say. Well, people, it’s just not that simple. It’s like logo design. Good logo design. How the hell do you put a world of imagery/ideas/info/etc/etc/etc into one very small package and ensure it is concise, easy to understand, beautiful and useful. It’s an art. One I have no experience with. For books, I mean. But, God Damn It, (pardon me Jesus) I am willing to try. I think.

So there you have it. That’s probably not even the whole list, but I’m tired now. You know…if could put half the effort into all these things that I am putting into this blog, I’d be flowing like a creative river. So to speak.

The Cutest Damn Thing Ever

Last night KC did the cutest damn thing ever. Ted and I were sitting in the kitchen, watching TV. My husband is a very goofy and affectionate guy. I am ashamed to admit I don’t always appreciate it, and I don’t always respond back with as much enthusiasm. Not sure why. I may need an attitude adjustment. Or a beer. Or a therapist. Or someone to just un-jam that stick up my silly ass. Anyhoo…

He asked me to come sit on his lap and tell me how much I love him. Sweet. So, I did. He kisses me a bunch of times, and is just generally being his affectionate self. KC notices that we are playing around without her so she walks over and says “Up!”. She wants to join in. We both lift her and now it’s a family dog pile on Dad’s lap.

We kiss her face and cheeks a bunch of times, she kisses back, we keep kissing her face. She then takes her hand and pushes hard on Daddy’s face. It takes us a few seconds to realize she’s pushing his face toward mine like she wants him to kiss me.

Honest to God. The cutest damn thing ever. Kids are just amazing. Yeah, Mommy and Daddy definitely need to kiss more. We’ll just leave it at that!

Wait, was that a date?

I took KC to see my mom and dad this weekend. It was great. She had not seen my dad since June. Needless to say, he was pretty amazed at how much she’s changed in 4 months. My mom has seen her in the past few weeks, but KC changes daily, so it was just as amazing for her to notice the words she now uses and how she plays with more purpose.

KC took to them and their house like a duck to water. The way she receives them is a concern for me, because my mom and dad don’t live right down the street. Not like Ted’s parents who see her every day. I would have felt bad if she seemed scared or shy, but she wasn’t. Not at all. She was thrilled to have a new house to patrol and investigate. There were hi-fives all around, kisses for all who asked and she made a great mess of mom’s tupperware cabinet just as she does at our house.

I went up on Friday afternoon without Ted. I had KC strapped in back and bags full of baby supplies in the trunk. It was assumed that Ted would not be with us due to work on Friday. I didn’t push or nag that we needed to spend some time together. I didn’t remind him that I could wait until Saturday morning to leave if he wanted to go with us. I had mentioned this fact already. When he’s tired from work, it’s best not to push.

Imagine my surprise when, at about 4 pm on Saturday, he called my cell to ask what our dinner plans were. I was a bit confused. He was 5 minutes from my parent’s house. On a whim he decided to drive up to meet us. My dinner plans quickly changed from shrimp curry with mom and dad (hoping KC would sit long enough to enjoy it) to a date with my husband.

Our fabulous date consisted of a greasy dinner and too many beers at a couple of Ocean City dives. I know it doesn’t sound that amazing, but it was. To be together, just us, talking and laughing. It was nice. It’s all we need. The only bad parts: Notre Dame lost to Boston College and I had way too many Blue Moons. (Blue Moon = wicked hangover.) Totally worth it though. To have a night where we can relax and not worry about KC. To come home drunk late and not have to wake for a 2 am diaper change. To sleep in until 8:30ish…totally awesome.

KC slept in ridiculously late on both mornings as a matter of fact. She snoozed until an unprecedented 9:30 on Saturday. I actually got a little nervous and had to check on her at about 8:30 to make sure she hadn’t been taken by wandering beach gypsies.* That night, while Ted and I spent some well deserved time together, KC played happily with my mom and dad, went to bed easily and slept all night.

Of course, Sunday, when we were back in our own beds, she resorted to the waking at midnight thing. Diaper change, snuggle on couch for a bit, and then the “cry it out” method was needed once again. Still took about half an hour for her to settle and sleep again. The kid has staying power, I’ll give her that.

*There are not actual beach gypsies in Ocean City. Not that I know of. I’m just trying to be funny in that odd way that I have sometimes. I apologize if you are a gypsy. They seem to get a bad wrap when it comes to babies, although it’s usually the other way around. Babies left on doorsteps. Not kidnapped. Weird.

A-Typical Results

So after my very long post about KC’s (alleged) sleep issues yesterday I experienced an anomaly to my regular findings. Observe…

Subject was put to bed at normal time of 8 pm. I went about my typical evening activity expecting to hear subject wake and cry as usual. This never occurred. Subject slept through the night without waking for any reason. Hmmm (strokes chin thoughtfully) very interesting.

Let’s hope she continues this trend at Grandma and Grandpa G’s house this weekend.