Fear

I’ve always had some trouble with stairs. I don’t really know why, but I just don’t feel comfortable unless I can watch my feet hitting each step. If I can’t, I tend to over think my movements and often I end up stumbling a little. I’ve never taken a bad fall, but it’s always on my mind. Especially on the steps in my house. They are steep and hard – all wood and kind of slippery.

One of my biggest fears, when KC was just a baby, was that that Ted or I would be carrying her down those stairs and we would trip and fall. Both Ted and I have slipped and fallen about halfway down by ourselves. Nothing like that ever happened with our fragile little girl, but it was on my mind a lot. If the two of us were up in the office with her and Ted carried her down the stairs without me, I’d have “a moment”. I’d sit in my chair, frozen and not breathing, palms starting to sweat a little. I’d hold that pose for a few seconds until I knew they were both down safe and sound.

Behold. The slippery stairs of death.

I know this may sound kind of silly, but if you’ve ever been to my house and gone up and down those stairs you probably understand. Plus, let’s face it, as a brand new parent it doesn’t take much to make you feel paranoid about hurting your new, fragile “package”. A lot of parents make “mountains out of mole hills” in those first few months thanks to the intense pressure created when you are thrust rather abruptly into the role as guardian of something so small and (seemingly) breakable.

Ever seen a dude hold a baby for the first time? I still hold other people’s babies like that.

Months passed and KC learned to crawl, then walk. Those stairs remained closed to her for quite some time. I didn’t have the stomach to let her scale them even when she began to get more confident on her feet. Finally, about 4 or 5 months ago (give or take) we started letting her go up by herself. Going down has been carefully watched and I encourage the “on your bum” method as much as possible. She’s incredibly agile so I have started to get a little complacent. I don’t run to her every time she tries to climb the slide out back, or when she takes the less scary steps in front of our house. She’s proven time and time again she can handle it.

Then on Saturday my fear of the stairs inside was realized if only for a few moments. Let me stop here and just say SHE IS FINE. Because I know what you are thinking right now. Yes, she did fall down the stairs. She fell from about halfway up, although I cannot say for sure because I was not watching. I was not watching. Stupid. She’s gotten so good at going up and down that I let her go by herself while I tried to finish up something on my computer. She grabbed a couple of small toys and said “Downstairs now”. I said “Go ahead.”, reminded her of the “bum method” and went about my business.

Even in the back of my mind the voice of reason hinted that with toys in hand the journey could be dangerous. I heard the toys hit and bounce a few times. For a split second I prayed that she just dropped them, but then I heard her cry. That’s when I realized I had also heard a series of soft thuds alongside those little plastic toys.

Fear always seems to hit you in the torso doesn’t it? It’s like your heart and stomach come to attention at the exact same time.

The good thing is she cried immediately. It would have been worse if she didn’t make a sound. I ran down, scooped her up and carefully sat her on the couch to inspect her for injury. A few red areas where she hit hands and knees, not even a bad bump on the head. She was ok. She cried, but also asked to see a book that was sitting nearby. It took less than one minute for her to calm down and start playing again. It took a little longer for my heart to stop racing. I honestly felt like I was going to puke for about an hour or so.

I gathered our things together and we got in the car as planned to drive the three hours to GG and Gramps house near the beach. We had a wonderful weekend together. Just us girls playing on the playground in Bethany and wading in the ocean waves. I love her so much. Just like any parent, I have that dark worry in the back of my mind at all times. Something could happen to her. Something really bad. I think often about kids who are really sick and spend so much time in hospitals. How do those parents survive that constant fear? I think about parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child by illness or accident. Then there is the possibility of kidnapping and abuse. It’s enough to make you hide your kid inside forever.

My own parents have endured the loss of my brother, Scott, due to suicide. That’s a really tough one to mention here because I know my Mom will read this and I HATE the idea that I’ll surprise her with unexpected feelings of sadness. However, it plays a big role in my own fears if I’m being honest. Experiencing that kind of tragedy opens a bad portal where fear of the unexpected can flow in easier than before. It lives with you from that point on. Quietly sitting in the periphery like a dark shadow. Not always interfering, but definitely always there. Making sure you don’t forget that life can change in an instant and you’ll never see it coming. If I don’t acknowledge the loss of my brother when speaking of this, it’s the elephant in the room.

Since it was my loss too, I have a pretty good idea of how bad it really is for my Mom and Dad that they lost their son, one of their babies. It doesn’t matter if the child is 3 months or almost 30 years old. He’s still your baby. Anyone, parent or not, can wrap their brain around that one and feel sympathy. However, it’s not until you actually become a parent that you can empathize to a degree. Even if you haven’t lost your own child. After just two short years, the love I feel for KC is so strong that the thought of anything happening to her is unimaginable. It has added a decidedly different emotion to the many that I already feel regarding the loss of my brother. It gives a much more clear understanding of how that loss affects my parents every single day.

This post has gone longer and in a much different direction than I intended. I don’t want to end on a sad note, but it’s hard not to feel a little sad when contemplating these things. I guess the trick is (and so far I think I’m doing ok at it) that you have to remember that you cannot control everything that happens in this world and you have to try and accept that. It’s a chaotic and (let’s be honest) fucked-up place a lot of the time. It’s also a beautiful place. Even with all the loss and the pain we endure. There is so much beauty all around if you look for it. I see it especially in the people who take those horrible hits, get back up again and keep on living themselves.

Life is too short. Life is scary and, for some people, much harder than seems fair. Life pretty much sucks, but it is also a real gift. I don’t want fear to stand in the way of enjoying my own life. I especially don’t want my fear to stand in the way of letting KC have lots of good moments for herself. Even if those moments happen far from me, where I cannot hold her hand as she goes down the stairs*.

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*Of course if those “stairs” involve a career as the first female to perform stunts more death-defying than Evel Knievel,  you might just see me running behind her with a giant foam mattress screaming about helmets and knee pads.  I’m a pretty big supporter of letting people (kids included) choose their own path, but I am a Mother after all.

Twice As Much

Dear KC,
Today you are two years old. I love you twice as much today as I did when you were born. I am certain that each year I will love you more and more. You are amazing. It’s true how they say that babies grow up fast. Until you become a parent and watch it happen for yourself that is just another cliché saying. Lately you are changing almost daily. No lie. You are talking so much, growing so big (over an inch in the past month!) and you are developing more and more of a big kid’s personality – a little attitude, a few quirks and a lot of love and silliness to share with us all. It’s truly a blessing and a pleasure for your dad and I (as well as your grandparents) to see it happening every day.

I remember very clearly holding you in the hospital after you were born. So tiny and light, so soft and sweet. You are still soft and sweet, but whoo-boy! Not so light anymore! You get harder to carry around, but I still love to pick you up and feel your little arms around my neck, or your head resting on my shoulder. I am so grateful that you are still in a place where you crave a lot of “Mama Love” each day. I cherish those moments when you need to be close to me. The moments when no one else will do. I know that there will come a day when you are much too mature and independent to cuddle with your Mom when you need comfort. I promise I’ll try to be cool about that when the time comes.

Tonight we will celebrate one more time with some cake and ice cream. We’ve got plenty left over from your party on Saturday! You are such a lucky girl, KC. I hope that we can give you material things while still teaching you the value of being grateful for what you have. So many other kids go without lots of toys and food. Too many even live without a lot of love and attention. As a parent and a human being, that is heartbreaking every time I see it. I was a very lucky little girl growing up. Your Dad was very lucky too. We are still lucky because we can give you the love, support, and (ok, I admit it) the presents you deserve. It’s awfully hard not to spoil a child you love so much. I’m going to have to keep a leash on your Dad though. He likes Toys-R-Us a little too much for a guy his age. You two are bound to have some fun together. I’ll be the one shaking her head in the background because “that’s too expensive!” or “isn’t that dangerous?”

I could go on and on, but I’ll wrap things up. You are twice as much fun, twice as smart, twice as beautiful and twice as much of a blessing as you were 2 years ago today. And that’s saying a lot because you were a DAMN good baby! Happy Birthday, sweet little girl.

All My Love,
Mommy

Awesome tea set courtesy of KC’s Aunt and Uncle. Fabulous gift choice guys! She adores it!

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By the way, the party was a total success. No mishaps at all this year. The food platters and the cake were perfect. Gotta love paying someone else to make it! (Hey, what can I say? I know my strengths.) Daddy even spent 3 hours last night (after working all day at an expo) putting together a play kitchen from G & G Doran so that KC could play with it right away. THAT, my friends, is love. Special thanks to my Mom and Dad for all the driving you did and the extra hotel visit you endured just to be there with us. Thanks actually to everyone who came and celebrated with us. KC made out like a bandit with the “Birthday Booty”. She is indeed very lucky. As are we.

Howdy, Stranger.

I just got back last night from a four day trip to Minnesota. There was a memorial service for my Grandma Marge and I really wanted to be there. I am so glad I went. It was wonderful to see my family and nice to spend some time celebrating her life. My Grandma actually passed quite a few months ago, on Christmas Eve. The family decided it would be best and easiest if we had a service over the summer. That is when more of the immediate family are up in Northern, MN. Although I did get to spend a lot of quality time with everyone that I hoped to, it still felt like it was much too short.

On the flip-side, it felt like a really long time to be away from Ted and KC. Missing just a couple of days seeing my daughter is tough, but four full days seems like an eternity. It’s not usually me who goes away. Ted is the one who normally goes on business trips for up to a week and then comes home feeling like a bit of a stranger. KC changes so fast that you cannot help but miss some stuff.

These days she’s talking up a storm. Using entire phrases, starting to talk back to Dora and Diego and even attempting to sing along to the songs she hears every day on the Noggin channel. It’s truly amazing and sort of frightening. Frightening like some crazy sci-fi movie where there is an alien creature who pops out of the womb (or egg or whatever the hell…use your imagination) and then ages to a full-grown adult in like 24 hours.

Look, doctor. It’s adapting. Quickly. Much too quickly for our useless brains to comprehend. Hurry! We’ve got to run for the space ship and get out of here! Now! Forget about the others. There’s no time!

Ted rattled off all the fun things they did over the weekend and I felt a twinge of jealousy. It’s usually me with her alone if not BOTH of us. She’s a Mama’s girl these days too. She seems to prefer my lap at night and I can hear her asking for me on mornings when Ted gets her out of bed. It’s cool and secretly I love it. I feel a little bad for him though. I think that must feel bad for him when she makes such a fuss over me. I wouldn’t know from personal experience.

Coming back after such a long break felt strange. I didn’t even get to see her last night. I got in late and she was already asleep. In the middle of the night she woke. Ted went to her automatically, but I followed. She called for me when she discovered I was there, but just before that happened I hovered in the doorway. Hanging back a bit. Not sure what to do. I felt a little odd as always happens when I’m away and the two of them get to bond. I didn’t want to “intrude”. However, I think Ted was more than happy to toss her to me at almost 1 am. (Gee, thanks!) We went out to the living room and she promptly fell back asleep laying with me on the couch. She felt bigger than I remember. Is that weird?

This morning she woke a bit cranky and I overslept. (Yay!) I had to rush through the morning routine. No time to sit with her and watch the news while she sipped milk in my lap. I had to be a bit short with her to coax her into the car. To make it worse, she cried when I left her at Grandma’s house. She hardly ever does that anymore. I felt guilty that we had to rush our reunion and I cannot wait to get home and snuggle her to make up for it. Something tells me she’ll forgive me though. As a matter of fact, I imagine she got over my abrupt departure today pretty fast once I was out of sight. After all, she did just fine for four whole days without me. Sigh.

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I would just like to say that my Grandma, Marjorie Hessen Gordon was the absolute model of what a Grandmother should be. She made our annual summer trips up north even better. In addition to the amazing house and cabin by the lake, she always had ice cream, cookies and every flavor of “pop” you can imagine right at our fingertips. There was never any question that we could glut ourselves on sugar up there with Grandma. She and her mom, my Great Grandmother Dagney Hessen, are most likely responsible for my current addiction to cookies. Damn, those ladies could bake. Among many other things of course. My biggest regret is that my Grandma (and my Grandpa for that matter) never got to know KC.

Movie Time

Bust out the popcorn and the Junior Mints. It’s time for some videos! I don’t post many videos. The truth is, most of the videos we capture are pretty boring. KC standing around about 30 seconds AFTER she did something cute/funny and now we are just hoping we can coax her to do it again. Not so much.

These two videos were taken in Minnesota. We were sitting eating a hot dog and ice cream lunch from Dairy Queen. They will probably be interesting to…oh…I don’t know…no one. Well, except maybe to GG. KC actually mentions “GG and Gramps” in video #2. Other than that, it’s just her being cute and laughing with Daddy. She mentions “poopie” at the end of both, which is sort of funny. If you are into that kind of thing.

Welcome to EXOTIC DULUTH!*

Every time anyone asked Ted where we were headed for vacation, he would say with a grin, “Exotic Duluth!” (Minnesota, that is.) Totally makes me laugh. I guess it’s funny because most people don’t think of Minnesota when they think of an exotic or exciting getaway. However, truth be told, northern MN is pretty spectacular in the summertime. I would know. I’ve been going there almost every summer since I was born.

So! Vacation came and went. I’ve been off the blog so long, I’m not even sure what to write. I guess I’ll start where I left off.

WE FLEW. ON AN AIRPLANE. WITH AN ALMOST TWO YEAR OLD. AND WE LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT.

Yes, my stomach was in knots on the flight out there. Yes, KC did get a tad rambunctious on the first leg of our flight out. However, after that, she was completely chill. She slept on the 2nd flight to Minneapolis from Chicago. We had a brief glimpse of hell in the terminal on our journey back home when KC decided to pick the waiting area just 20 minutes shy of boarding to morph into a complete freak. She ran around and screamed bloody murder whenever we tried to hold her or stop her. She even picked this time to take a crap in her ALREADY JUST CHANGED diaper. This resulted in me wrestling her on the floor of the bathroom stall to perform the quickest change ever due to the fact that the plane was boarding and had already called “Group 4″ by that time. Blaag@#$%aaalalalala&*%$#gahhh. (New word. Feel free to use it.)

Miraculously, she got it all out of her system and morphed back to the adorable child I actually gave birth to just as we got on the plane. She really seemed to dig the planes. I also think she “got it” when we pointed to them out on the tarmac and told her, “We are getting on a plane!”

Basically, any Fear of Flying I had disappeared. Also, may I take a moment to add that the portable DVD player is the most ingenious invention know to mankind. For real. My daughter watched TONS of videos while we were on this trip and – I MAKE NO APOLOGY FOR IT. NONE. (She watches lots at home too. I make only minor apologies for that.)

HOOKED UP!

Seriously though, we had a great trip. We got to do so many things and KC had so many firsts…first zoo visit…first aquarium…first time meeting some of our cousins…first time seeing the Gordon family cabin and first time seeing so many of the landmarks that I grew up seeing on vacations with my parents. It was really awesome. WE HAD FUN. All three of us.

The amazing views from our rental cabin didn’t hurt either. We were really excited about this place and it totally delivered. Worth every penny. (It’s called Breezy Point in case you are ever in Two Harbors.)

Pictured here: Exotic Two Harbors

We drove around a lot on this trip. From a Duluth hotel, to the Two Harbors cabin and on to another hotel near Minneapolis. All the driving and packing and visiting could have made for some crabby moods on all our parts, but that didn’t ever really happen. Of course we each had minor moments. Daddy got pretty irate at AVIS on the way home. (Some nonsense about it costing $136 because we got the car back an hour late. I’m not even totally sure. AVIS, you officially suck to us now.) KC had quite a few moments in restaurants as well. Apparently we don’t do well at restaurants anymore. Just in time for vacation! Sweet! No big deal though. There was always room service, full kitchenettes or family cooking for us in places where “a kid can be a kid”. The misbehaving stayed at a minimum and generally only came from those under two(ish)…

See? Very minimal. Daddy is really quite happy here.

I want to thank all our family (both Gordon AND Doran) who were so hospitable while we were there. You guys made it easier for us to relax. GG and Gramps even took KC for two separate nights while Daddy and Mommy got drunk had romantic time together. Other family members gave us much needed breaks while we visited them via cousins who were of babysitting age. (Hmm. Babysitters. It’s about time we found one of those here in VA.) Really the biggest negative from this trip is the horrific pile of laundry I am working my way through. I packed too much, yet managed to not have enough clothes. Figures.

*To those who came to this post hoping for travel/city info on either Duluth, MN or Duluth, GA, my deepest apologies for misleading you. If you read the whole thing anyway, thanks! You totally rock. Either that or you were just to dumb to stop reading and continue your info search elsewhere. If you scrolled to the bottom as soon as you saw the asterisk in the title you are obviously too smart for this blog. Go away.

Fear of Flying

Well, it’s almost arrived — vacation time! I am in the middle of packing the “world’s most crap that will never be worn on one trip”. (Seriously, there should be an award for that.) Tonight I aim to eliminate some of it so I can actually bring some clothes for KC too. I suppose making her rotate two outfits the whole time would be very uncool.

We leave early tomorrow morning. Ted’s Dad will be driving us to the airport. By noon we should be in our rental car and driving a couple more hours to Duluth. (If Avis doesn’t have the car seat I asked for you will hear me yelling all the way in Virginia.) It will be a long day, but hopefully worth it. We’ll be gone for more than a week. It’s a MUCH needed vacation for Ted and I. The pressure to have fun is HUGE. Ted won’t stop saying how awesome it’s going to be, etc.

Dear God, this better be fun.

This also happens to be the first time KC has ever flown on a plane. I am nervous as hell. I don’t really know why exactly. She’s a really good kid. People find her cute and charming. However, those people are typically passing by at the grocery store. Not stuck in the seat in front of her, or trying to sleep in the seats behind us. I am certain she’ll be her usual adorable self, but she’s very “active” these days. She likes to walk and run and explore. She’s full of energy and she’s just young enough that telling her to sit still is kind of a joke. Of course we plan to have stuff to entertain her, but it’s always the stuff she can’t have or can’t do that seems to lure her. I have this fear of the “tantrum to end all tantrums” when we try desperately to make her understand that “you have to sit in this seat until the captain says it’s ok to get up.” Yeah! Right. Even then, I don’t really want to get up and let her pace the aisles. Pain. In. The. Butt. That sounds like.

I pray to the Gods of airline travel (I’m talking to YOU, Knome!) that she’ll SLEEEEEP. (“She always sleeps in the car!” she said in a slightly manic tone.) Thank goodness it’s not a very long flight. We have one layover and I personally think that is a good thing. More opportunity for her to run around in the terminal and tire herself out. We shall see. I’ll be offline until after July 4th. I will definitely come back with photos and (hopefully) stories about how amazingly good she was on the plane!

Wow, you should have seen her! They were so impressed they gave her “wings” and let her sit in the cockpit! “Best kid ever on a plane!” the crew said. “You two are model parents!” all the passengers exclaimed.

If not then hopefully there will be stories that, while horrifying for us, will at least be entertaining for you. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

All Dads Go to Heaven

And by “Dads” I don’t mean simply men who sired children either. I mean DADS, real, honest-to-goodness DADS. The ones who grill for us, mow the lawn so we can play, pick us up and twirl around, or become a human swing on command. The guys who teach us how to do things like ride a bike, fish, paddle a canoe and paint an Easter egg with more pizazz than anything Martha Stewart could ever dream up. The men who often provide us our first jobs, our first cars, our first opportunity to build something. Our first real sense of pride and accomplishment.

Ted and I were lucky. We both had Dads like this. Dads who cared, who were fun and smart, who made us feel safe and alternately scared the crap out of us when we needed it. (Math grades come to mind for me.) Our Dads were responsible and held jobs to provide for us. They cheered for us and encouraged us. They pushed us sometimes too. All this because, they knew. This is what a good Dad does. This is what comes naturally when you love your children and your family.

Now I am lucky because my daughter has two amazing Grandfathers who helped mold her parents to be who they are now. And, of course, she got one pretty amazing Dad. Ted, you are so wonderful with KC. Fatherhood truly looks good on you. I know you will continue to be great at it. I’m sure there will be many hard days. I imagine you and KC will fight sometimes. I can already see she’s a lot like you! She’s got spunk and personality, she’s stubborn and also tough. She’s funny and silly. These things will get her through a lot of stuff and I know you will be right by her side. And mine too. Thank you for being such a wonderful husband and father.

Happy Father’s Day, Ted (aka Dada, Daddy and Dad)
Happy Father’s Day to my own Dad (aka “Gramps”)
Happy Father’s Day to Ted’s Dad, my Father-in-Law (aka  “Grandad”)

You guys are the greatest. Some might even say the World’s Greatest!

Sweet Presence

“There’s going to be a baby in this crib.” That was the thought I had mere weeks before KC was born. My belly big. Looking down at the empty crib just waiting for her arrival. Sheets and blankets inviting and soft. “There’s going to be a baby in this crib. I wonder what she will look like.”

Tonight as I gently lay her down to sleep, as I often do, I thought of that moment. When it really hit me. She was coming. Soon. My baby. I was finally going to see her, feel her. That same afternoon, Ted and I took the baby monitor out back to see how far it would keep a strong signal. We had hit the button on a mobile that played a sweet song. We could hear it clearly in the back yard. I got a little teary-eyed thinking of it. He put a hand on my shoulder in a gesture that said, “I know how you feel.”

This memory is a strong one. I felt I should write it down. Before it fades too much. Ted’s sister and her husband are patiently awaiting the arrival of daughter number two. She’s due any day now. Does it feel like that for the second child too? I  imagine it does. This presence that it there, but not quite there yet. “There’s going to be a baby in this crib.”

What a blessing.

Summer Vacation (It’s family time, dammit.)

Summertime is all about vacations. At least it should be. I am really excited because Ted and I just finished booking our hotel/cabin for our visit to Minnesota. I’ve spent so many summer vacations up north and I’m excited to be taking KC on her first real vacation to the place that holds such great memories for me. (Real meaning the first time she will be flying on a plane and be away from home for more than a weekend.) My family has an awesome little cabin on Bassett Lake. It’s such a huge part of my vacation history. I feel a tad guilty that we don’t jump at the chance to stay there with my Mom and Dad. Lord knows it would cost us a lot less! I think they understand though.

Ted and I are in desperate need of this vacation for ourselves as a couple. We need some alone time. Some “no work, low stress, just kick back and relax” time. What better way to do that than with hot running water and a splendid view of Lake Superior? Oh, and the cabin we are renting has a deck and a fire pit. Roasted marshmallows, anyone? I am trying not to think of the credit card bill because it will be awful even if we go for an economy hotel. At this cabin we can cook for ourselves and buy beer on sale at a grocery store. It has a kitchenette so that ought to save us some “beans”. Eating out every day adds up quickly. I am feeling relief today because it’s done. The decision is made and now we just have to wait, pack and fly on up there.

We have to fly. With a 21 month old. Crap, ya’ll. I’m so nervous about that part. KC is such a joy these days. So full of personality and energy. It’s cool to watch her. However, she’s very active and busy. I’m so nervous about having her confined to strollers and seats for an entire day. It could be fine…I could be paranoid for no reason. But, then again, it could also equal meltdown city. I guess I just have to stay positive and keep my sense of  humor. Hopefully we don’t get stuck next to a total asshole (or 2) who hates kids.

I’ve already started running over all the places we can take her. Duluth down by the harbor is awesome. Hopefully wherever we are we can find a playground with swings. (That kid loves to swing. I need to make her a t-shirt or a bumper sticker for her wagon that says, “I’d rather be swinging.”) There is also Deer Park, a petting zoo that we always loved as kids. Is it still there?? I hope so. I don’t think we can take her to the Alpine Slides in Lutsen just yet. Maybe a couple of years from now. I’ll have to research activities in the area. Ted and I love watching KC have fun.

By the way, Mom, if you are reading this, don’t even say “Ironworld”. I know you are thinking about suggesting it to be funny. See how well I know you?

Our family cabin will be a blast too. I’m looking forward to taking her in the water, maybe for a boat ride. She has only been swimming once. Last July. However, she really seemed to like it. We’ll have to get her a little life jacket or something. One whole month to go before we leave. It will go fast. All the time seems to go too fast these days. I cannot wait.

Here’s to summertime…

Photos taken in Solomon’s Island, MD

Trees Are People Too

Something really sad happened. The “Honking Tree” in Minnesota was cut down by a vandal with a chain saw. This tree stood alone on the median of the highway which runs from Duluth to Two Harbors (among other places). It was the route we took to get to my Grandma and Grandpa’s house every summer. Up and back we’d go, numerous times…to Barker’s Island, to Miller Hill Mall in Duluth, to start our long drive back home again to VA. My Grandpa Bing was great when it came to the Honking Tree. He’d always be sure we kids knew it was coming up. It’s funny, because until yesterday when my cousin shared this awful news with me, I actually thought it was just our family and friends that honked at that big tree. Turns out it was a well known landmark by everyone. So well known in fact, that is was considered as a historical tree by a national, non-profit organization. Here’s the article my cousin shared about the vandalism that gives some background on the tree:

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‘Honking tree’ near Two Harbors cut down
Steve Kuchera – 04/30/2009

The tall, lone white pine that has long stood in the grassy median of the Two Harbors expressway, welcoming people driving north to Two Harbors, was cut down by one or more vandals overnight. “It was reported by a MnDOT worker this morning at 6:15,” Lake County Sheriff’s Department dispatcher John Brandt said. “He [the MnDOT employee] was driving up to work in Two Harbors here and drove past there. He said something didn’t look right, so he turned back around. The tree was laying there. Someone had cut it down with a chainsaw.” Many locals know the tree as “the honking tree.” It’s customary to honk when passing the tree. No one knows when the tradition started. Some Minnesota Department of Transportation officials know it as “Charlie’s tree” for Charlie J. Hensley, who was chief inspector when the expressway was built in the 1960s. Hensley died in 1967. “He used to sit there [under the tree] and have his lunch,” MnDOT regional spokesman John Bray said. “He ordered the contractor to make sure that while the expressway was being built that that tree not be touched. “In those days we tended to slash and burn — it was clear cut everything,” Bray said. “We didn’t have the environmental ethics that we have today. But Charlie had it then. He cared about the environment before the environment was on the tongue of anybody.” The 75-foot-tall pine tree, which stood about three miles south of Two Harbors near the Larsmont Road, was nominated for inclusion on the National Register of Historic Trees, a list kept by the Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit American Forests. Anyone with information on who cut it down is asked to call the Lake County Sheriff’s Office at (218) 834-8385.

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This has really made me think about the impact trees have on us. I’m not just talking about the way they create oxygen, or are homes to animals. I’m not even talking about all the stuff we make with trees, like furniture, houses and paper products. I’m talking about how every single one of us has probably had at least one tree in our life that was special. Like a friend or family member. Sound a little silly? Think about it.

Here are some of mine:

• Obviously the “honking tree”.
• The tree that was planted by my Mom and Dad in our old front yard and grew as we grew. It had star-shaped leaves and big, prickly gumballs that covered the yard. (Much to my father’s annoyance, I’m sure.)
• All the trees that made up the “Fairy Fort” that my best friends and I spent hours playing under as if it were a magical place. It was.
• The beautiful willow tree in the same friend’s back yard whose branches touched the ground and made a complete canopy.
• A tree in my backyard that had that perfect hollow spot, a big hole right in front that must have housed some animal at some point. Or, at least we kids imagined. I think we put things in there a few times!

I’m sure if I think long enough, I’ll come up with more. Now I am married with a house of my own. We have some really big, old trees here too. In fact we just put a swing on the branch of one for KC. She adores it. She would swing all day if we let her. If we are here long enough, I’m sure that will be one of her first special trees.

It’s sad to me that the “Honking Tree” is gone so suddenly. We have our first visit to Minnesota with KC this July. If that tree weren’t destroyed by some idiot, perhaps that too would have become her special tree. You can be sure I will still tell her the story when she’s older. So much changes over time. Many things have to change. It’s just life for better or worse. However, some things are just taken, or destroyed by ignorant people and that really sucks. Maybe someone will plant a new tree for a new generation. There’s a nice thought.

Love at first swing.