“How old’s your brat?”

I had my first mammogram on Friday. Let me just say it is not as painful as some would lead you to believe. At least I didn’t think so. Let me also say that is was routine, so nothing scary. A “baseline” as my doc put it. I don’t expect to get any bad/questionable results. (Fingers crossed.) My doc just figured that even though I don’t fall into a category of high-risk and even though I am not actually 40 yet, it’s silly to put off such an important milestone in a woman’s life. (In other words, I am creeping much closer to the big 4-0 than I really care to acknowledge. Gulp.)

The tech who did my test was very sweet. My age and EXTREMELY chatty. Right off the bat she struck up a conversation about how these tests get such a bad rap, and how women should be able to handle this discomfort if we can handle childbirth. I had to agree with that. She shared that she was recently married and asked if I had any children. I said yes, one.

Right about this time she had finished setting me up for the first “photo” and she walked around to the other side of the glass wall and pushed a button to start the machine. It was loud, but she continued to talk to me anyway. She asked, “How old’s your brat?”

Oddly, I didn’t even bat and eye at the use of the word “brat”. She seemed like kind of a fun-loving chic so I just assumed she had sort of a silly sense of humor. I had to speak very loudly to answer, “Oh, she just turned two this September.” I felt kind of bad trying to answer as the machine was doing it’s work. It seemed like maybe I should be holding very still.

She came back over to me and started to “pose” me for photo #2. All the while we are still chatting away about marriage and when/if she planned to have kids. Again, she walks behind the glass and turns on the machine. Again, she asks me, “How old’s your brat?”

Hm. That machine was pretty loud. Maybe she didn’t catch my answer the first time. I start to say again that she just turned two, but I barely got two words out. She says, “No, hun. Hold your breath.“

Oooohhhhhhhh. Hold your breath! Yeah, that makes a lot more sense.

Funny though, even after I realized what she was actually saying to me from behind that wall, it STILL sounded exactly like, “How old’s your brat?” every time she said it. It’s not surprising she had to come back and take the first picture again. You know, since I was breathing AND yelling about my “brat”.

If it seems impossible that I would get that phrase from “hold your breath” I don’t know what to tell you. She had an American accent, but a really odd way of saying “hold” and “breath”. I tried to recreate it when I told the story out loud to Ted that evening. I could not mimic it. You’ll just have to trust me!

Holding Pattern

A quick update on my weight loss/weight maintenance activity. I skipped out on blogging and reporting with the Sisterhood last week. However, I’m holding steady at 153 pounds. No change for two weeks. Ok, maybe I gained a pound and lost it again. It’s very probable that happened. Today, however, there is nothing I can add to my food bank donation. A shame, but I guess it’s better than gaining a lot. Especially considering I’m not exercising every day. This just seems to be the story of my fitness life lately.

2 days at the gym last week and 2 days so far this week. I am just so “on again, off again” it’s amazing. In my previous post from this morning, I blamed work for my lack of blog activity. Can I blame work for this too? No I can’t. I work out during my lunch break. It’s the only part of my day I can actually control and yet…I still find reasons to bail on it all the time.

I won’t lie, I’m bailing on the gym today. However, I vow to go again tomorrow and try my level best to round out the week with a Friday visit too. I hope my other “sisters” have been kicking (and losing) more butt than me!

Workin’ it, but not in a good way.

I’ve been “workin’ it” a lot at my desk, that is. Good because it equals extra money for me. I’ve got a lot of freelance design coming at me lately and it occupies my nights after I spend time with my husband and daughter. Not good because I already sit at a desk all day long for my full-time job. All this sitting has devastated my motivation. Even when it’s time for my lunch break, I still seem to remain mesmerized by a computer screen rather than getting the hell out of the office and into some fresh air and non-florescent light. (Damn you, FaceBook!)

I went to the gym today so I could weigh myself. (Don’t worry, I worked out too.) I am down 1/2 pound since last week – 153 lbs. That’s pretty decent since it’s the first time I’ve been to the gym since last Wednesday’s weigh-in. Shameful. I guess I must have done a good deal of walking over the weekend when I took my daughter to the beach. That makes 8 more ounces of food that I can add to my food bank contribution.

It’s not that I don’t have the time to workout. I definitely do. I just don’t TAKE the time and it seems to be a more and more persistent habit with me lately thanks to the upswing in my life as a designer. I do not like it that I am letting my fitness goals become the lowest priority. Every week I profess to change this, yet every week here I am. Maintaining. “Just do it!”, you might say. Yes, I agree that’s the best attitude to have. In my head I’m all about it. In real life, not so much.

I won’t ever give up though. That’s why I like this Sisterhood stuff. If it weren’t for you guys I probably would have skipped the gym today. Three cheers for peer pressure! The good kind.

Motivational Rule #1: It’s all about the playlist.

I skipped out on reporting my status for the “Lose for Good” challenge with the Sisterhood last week. I didn’t work out and I didn’t blog. The truth is, I’m failing pretty badly in the exercise category these days. That 5 mile race I’m signed up to do this Sunday? I’m totally going to BAIL. My body is just not up to running that many miles. I could totally walk it, but I don’t want to. There will be other races.

The good news is I am down since I first weighed-in to join this challenge. I started at 153.5 and I’m currently at 152. That means 24 oz of food toward my “stash” for a local food bank at the end of the challenge. Not too shabby. I’ve been in a pretty big rut for the past couple of months, but I intend to steer myself out of it. It seems that (hopefully) I’m already starting to.

I went to the gym today and yesterday. Walking for 5 minutes to warm up and then running for about 20 minutes on the treadmill is my typical workout of choice. Some days it’s harder than others and I resign to walking more than I wanted to. Some days, like today, it feels pretty good. A very big part of this happens to be my iPod. Yesterday my iPod was dead and I opted to watch TV. I only felt like walking. Of course, that could have been because I hadn’t worked out in quite a while. I doubt it though. Today the iPod was all charged up and so was I.

Music really moves me when I’m running, but not just any music. It has to be fast-paced. Hip-hop or rap are great. Heavy metal is also perfect and the more aggressive songs are particularly good. The band Disturbed makes some really kick-ass workout music. If you are skeptical just try downloading the song “Meaning of Life”. It’s one of my favorites. (Beware of the fact that it is a tad explicit.) If you’re not a metal fan I recommend something like J.Lo’s “Doing It Well” or “Pump It” by the Black Eyed Peas. (What can I say. My music taste is all over the place.) This kind of musical motivation keeps me moving more steadily than focusing on a TV show. It allows me to lose myself to the point where time flies faster.

Speaking of time flying, I can’t believe we are halfway through September. Where did the summer go? The weather outside is amazing these days. I did NOT, as I suggested in my last challenge post, get out there and “breathe it in” via running/walking. Maybe I’ll get out on the trail, maybe I won’t. As long as I can get myself to the gym on a regular basis that’s good enough for me right now.

Is that can of peas in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

I’m supposed to be running 5 miles on September 20th (Navy 5 Miler) and I’m not ready at all. I’ve been pretty unmotivated for the past few weeks. I managed to hit the treadmill at the gym Tuesday and it hurt a little bit. Ok, a lot. The thing with running is that you have to keep doing it regularly. Otherwise you lose ground quickly. It’s my goal to push myself the next couple of weeks so I don’t – A: Suffer Through It or B: Bail Completely. Maybe I should hire someone to chase me. Is that in the job description of a personal trainer? Maybe it should be.

I am still utilizing the great community at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. A new challenge called “Lose For Good” just began that is really pretty cool. For every bit we lose, we purchase non-perishable foods equaling that amount (a pound = 16 oz). We collect them and at the end of the challenge we bring them to our local food bank. Nice motivation! Not to mention the impact of feeling a heavy can of veggies in your hand and realizing you just dropped that same amount of weight off your body. Of course in my case I should be buying bags of cookies and cans of beer, but I’m guessing the food bank frowns on those items.

The challenge kicked off yesterday and I did NOT workout! I have excuses as to why, but I won’t bore you with them. I’ll just promise myself that I WILL exercise today and do the best I can each day after that. I am busy lately with work. Especially my freelance work. It’s easy to skip exercise when you think you are too busy. The truth is, exercise = less stress and more motivation. So being overworked and busy = needing a break even if you have to force yourself to take it.

The weather where I live has been IDEAL the past week for running (or walking) outside. The coming fall should ensure that it continues. If I can’t find a way to get out there and move, I am just an idiot. Are you like me? Is the weather nice where you are? If so, get out there and BREATHE IT IN ALREADY. You’ll be glad you did.

Well, that explains a lot.

Almost exactly one year ago I wrote this post about going to the dentist. I never really followed up here on the blog. On that visit (and 3 more subsequent visits) I had an inlay and one filling done. It was an annoying process and took TWO separate molds to finally to get an inlay that seemed to fit. Seemed being the operative word here. I had a lot of uncomfortable sensitivity at the site upon returning home where I very innocently doused the tooth with ice water only to be brought to my knees. Even room temperature liquid makes my tooth sing. Using mouthwash this past year has been one of my least favorite activities.

I am a pretty understanding and laid back individual. I totally get that making a tiny inlay to fit my tooth so perfectly that no gaps result in the end must be quite a delicate process. I also get that it might not happen even with the dentist’s best efforts. Because of this I went with the flow. However, the whole time I was in the chair (4 separate times) I just had the feeling that the dentist and her assistant were…how should I put this? INCOMPETENT.

They hardly spoke to me at all the whole time. Which sucked big time since they had to dig and dig and re-do and re-do. You would think they might have talked me through it and assured me it was ok. “Just doing what needs to be done. Try to relax!” I mean, I can’t talk to them what with ALL THE TOOLS AND CEMENT in my mouth. To make it worse, it seemed to me that the assistant did most of the work which (I felt) the dentist should have at least been watching her do. The dentist kept going off to deal with other patients. BIG pet peeve of mine. I left the whole experience with a feeling that I got poor service. Like a dummy I just kept my mouth shut. (Or would that be “kept my mouth wide open”? Hey, nice pun!)

I put off going back right away which was also pretty dumb. (Typical “me” behavior.) I’ve kept up with my cleanings, however, and mentioned the sensitivity each time I’ve been back. The first time I got a different dentist/assistant combo. The assistant suggested maybe it was just normal sensitivity from receding gums. Um. No. Thanks for trying to put me off though. The dentist (a different one) was more receptive to my idea that the inlay was F’d up. She tried some varnish on the tooth (not to be confused with the sort you buy at Home Depot) and said I might just need it re-done in the end. She was correct. I went about my business for six more months and went and got a cleaning today.

Sidebar: You have no idea how many times Ted has looked at me with a roll of the eyes and a wagging finger to say “Get it fixed, Dumbass.” I get a distinct look of pain every time I accidentally let my drink flow to that side of my mouth. Which is a lot.

Today the REAL dentist, whom I recall from waaaay back, was in the office. I had no idea she was only gone temporarily. I simply thought the practice had changed hands or been taken over by spiteful dental students. Turns out she’d had a baby just before my bad teeth were discovered. She was just returning from taking the year off to be a new mom. The other dentists had been filling in for her. I was relieved when I explained my problem and she immediately said they would fix it at no cost. An x-ray had also clearly showed the inlay was faulty. Given my year long procrastination I thought this was pretty decent of them.

I almost didn’t go today. I almost put it off yet again to switch to Ted’s doc. I’m glad I gave them one last chance. This doc seems like a good one. It must have been tough for her to leave her practice in the hands of others for so long. Being a mom myself, I can relate to why she did it. I would have loved a 12 month maternity leave. I hope she didn’t lose any patients. She almost lost me. It’s a shame the office didn’t make it really to clear why she was not there. Before she came along it was a totally different guy and they sent a letter out when she took over. Of course, it’s an even bigger shame that I never voiced my concerns. I go back next week to start a whole new inlay process. I really hope this time it works. If not, I’m just going to tell them to pull the damn thing!

PS – I titled my original post “Hey, that’s my gum, asshole.” for good reason. I don’t care how healthy your gums are. When they take that metal pick and start scccrrrraaaappping along the edges…DAMN! That. Hurts. How could it not? And, Holy Hell, when did they start using a little electric tool to do it?? That thing looks and sounds exactly like a drill. Not. Cool. I’ve had the same guy for the past two visits now and he seems kind of like he enjoys it. Could be my imagination though. It probably is.

Ups and Downs

Last time I weighed myself (roughly two weeks ago) I was pushing 155. After touching 150 for a brief moment this was kind of a bummer. Yesterday at the gym I got on the scale and it gave me a little over 151. I love the scale at the gym. It is my new boyfriend. (Ssshh. Don’t tell my husband.) I’ve been exercising this week. Today will be my 3rd day in a row at the gym. I’ll be curious to see if that scale still likes me one day later, or if my morning snack weighs a pound.

That stuff matters you know. It’s why I like to weigh myself first thing in the morning, naked, after I’ve peed and stuff. But, alas, in the morning I am at home. My scale at home is a whore. She lies and cheats. She has tiny, vibrating lines that confuse my eyes and make me see numbers that aren’t true. She laughs at me. I can hear her when she thinks I’m not paying attention.

The 21 Day Challenge is going ok so far. I’m exercising, I have tried to drink a bit more water and less coffee at work and I’m also eating more servings of fruit in the morning instead of all the cookies. Ah, The Cookies…well…I was able to leave them alone on Monday morning, but this morning and yesterday I ate some. I am weak. They are gone now, though. Those cookies were left over from before this challenge and I am NOT going to buy more. Probably.

I’m off to a decent start. My weight being down motivates me. For the moment anyway. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever make it to the 15 lbs. I would really love to lose. Hard to say since I’m constantly up and down. I know I can do it, but I have trouble with the motivation to do the stuff I need to do on a consistent basis. I have a confession. Part of the problem is that I am at a pretty good weight already. Even though I look at myself and think I’d love to be slimmer, I’m not overweight. I’m steadily moving toward the line as I age though. But, still, I can easily fall into the rut of “feeling good enough” and then I let myself off the hook. Cookies, chocolate, maybe some chips, maybe shopping for shoes at lunch instead of going to the gym. It varies, but it’s a constant thing.

Up and down. Good days and bad days. Cookies and fruit. There are worse things than maintaining my weight. However, the idea of a firmer butt is pretty awesome so I think I’ll keep it up. With the occasional cookie, of course. Or seven.

I mean, really, who could resist? Psychos. That's who.

*****

PS – “Psychos” is a tad harsh. Some people just don’t like Oreos and that’s fine. Chocolate chip cookies, however…

PPS – The scale at the gym said 153 today. I am currently not speaking with him until he apologizes. It was my pants. They are heavy. They are.

PPPS – I totally made that graphic myself. With some images from….well never you mind. If anyone “official looking” asks, that dude is my husband and that is the package of Oreos that was in my desk this morning.

Damn, I love me some cookies.

I’m still trying to stick with the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, although I’ve been failing pretty badly in the fitness department lately. I can’t seem to get on track since my vacation, but every day is a new day to do better. Am I right?! Hell yeah.

Today the Sisterhood kicked of a 3 week challenge to try and form new habits. We are supposed to pick some things we wish we were better at and try to do them regularly for the next 3 weeks. Things like drinking more water (less beer for me) and eating more fruits and veggies. I think I’ll go for both of those. I’ll also aim to do the gym or some other workout at least 5 days a week even if it’s just a casual walk after work. After all, the goal is weight loss and I do feel like eating better when I’m exercising more.

These things won’t be easy for me, but I think making a shorter challenge of it is a good idea. It may be the only way for me to diet. I hate diets. I usually stay far away from that idea and just stick with exercise, but I know I need some better eating habits. For example, I am also going to add to my list the following:

EAT SOMETHING HEALTHY FOR BREAKFAST, DUMBASS.

Because, DAMN. I LOVE ME SOME COOKIES. Cookies with my coffee pretty much make me feel like this…

Did someone say COOKIES???

Eating fruit for breakfast is not quite the same as eating cookies, but I will try. Fruit with yogurt and granola isn’t too bad. It’s not cookies, but it’s not bad.

Luckily veggies are pretty easy for me. We eat a lot of veggies at our house so I have that going for me. I’d better do a little extra grocery shopping this weekend to be sure I have all the good stuff ready.

Bon appetite!

Massaging the Numbers

So, last week I didn’t exactly weigh-in like I was supposed to. I guessed what my weight must be given that I was on vacation and didn’t work out. Well, aside from doing a lot of walking. I assumed that I was holding at 151. I assumed wrong. I weighed myself at the gym yesterday and I am way back up to 154.5. Gulp. Guess I really did fall off the wagon these past couple of weeks. Right into a big bucket of ice cream with chocolate syrup and chocolate chips on top.

You know what they say about assume. It makes for a smaller ass on u and me. However, it also makes for a shocker when you finally get on the scale.

I’m back at the gym this week though, and all the good ice cream is gone from my freezer. For now. (I just can’t have that stuff around ya’ll.) I am also trying to substitute bagels and low-fat cream cheese for the usual 6-8 cookies I have at work every morning. (What? They’re the reduced fat kind. Back off.) I should really try fruit and yogurt instead, but for some reason I just can’t do it in the morning. I CRAVE CARBS. The muffin/donut/cookie kind in particular.

Man, being really healthy is not easy. I’m so glad that my daughter seems to really enjoy lots of fruits and vegetables. She’s barely two so that could change very soon. However, I hope she’s lucky enough to crave that stuff instead of the sweet, cakey stuff like me. On the other hand, she also really likes chips and dip (mostly the dip part) and ice cream and bacon…mmmmm…bacon.

Oops. Drool on the keyboard.

Exercise? I am not familiar with this term.

So remember how I was all gung-ho about exercise and stuff? Oh, right! Exercise! It’s been a while. I fell off the wagon shortly before vacation and am still sitting on the trail looking dazed and confused. (Just between you and me, I think Cookie Monster pushed me off. He’s a mean bastard since he became a vegetarian or whatever.)

I am still taking part in the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans challenge. Although the challenge going on now is almost done. My weight is holding steady at 151 lbs. No real loss for this challenge. As a matter of fact I was down to 150 at one point and then went right back up. That’s ok though. I’ll blame it on my long vacation.

I made one positive step today. I signed up for the Navy 5 Miler on Sept. 20th. Now let’s just see if I can keep in running shape without benefit of a team and coaches. I have a copy of Women’s Running on my desk. Damn, those chicks in the photos with their cute shorts and their slick pony tails make you think it must be so easy to run out the door and feel fabulous! You could almost just stare at those photos and read all the articles and PLAN to go running and that alone would give you some feeling of accomplishment. Almost. But, not quite. At some point you have to grab your shoes and go.