The Guy Outside

KC was quite taken with one particular Halloween decoration this year. We have a “guy”, a torso really, who we purchased a couple of years ago before we had a child. He’s meant to stick out of the ground like an un-dead thing trying to escape the grave. He looks a little like Freddy Krueger minus the hat, knives and striped sweater.

When I first started pulling the decorations out I paused for a moment wondering if he was a bit much for a two year old. She was standing right next to me so I just pulled him out and smiled really big and said “Look! Isn’t he silly?!” At first she seemed a tad unsure, but she got over it pretty quickly.

Ted put “Uncle Freddy” outside the following day while he was home with KC. The next day while I was home with her again as she continued to recover from a bad cold, she starting talking about a “Guy outside, Mommy. Guy outside.” It didn’t click at first so I said, “Did you see someone walking by out there? Are they walking a doggy?” Then she informed me, “Outside, in the rocks!” I understood right away. She was talking about our Halloween guy.

Every day she tells us about him. “Guy outside! “Go see him.” Every day we go outside to check on him. Apparently when Ted first put him out, KC was there and he assured her, “He won’t hurt you.” So each time she informed me of the “guy outside”, she was careful to add, “It’s ok, Mommy. He won’t hurt you.”

She absolutely blows me away sometimes. This kid is kind of a bad ass. I am pretty sure this guy would have scared the bejeezus out of me when I was little. I distinctly recall seeing a photo of Freddy Krueger in one of the local circulars that came in the mail. It was a very clear photo of his disfigured face in an ad for the video store where Nightmare on Elm Street was a new release. It bothered me so much I had to throw it away. I was probably in middle school at the time. (Can you say, “Wussy”?)

Here’s a shot of KC and her friend “Uncle Freddy” who will probably chill with us for a few more days before he goes back in the attic until next Halloween:

Here are a few more shots including one of the little skeleton “ghosties” Ted hung from the trees…

and here is KC in her fairy costume…

I went totally cheap this year and used the tutu and wings she got for her Birthday plus a 2nd hand crown.  Hey, it works. Plus, just as I suspected, she lasted about an hour or so visiting Grandma, Grandad and her cousins before she insisted on removing the whole get up. We had some fun and then we rushed back to our house to greet all our trick-or-treaters. I am sort of ashamed to say we didn’t bring KC around to trick-or-treat with our neighbors. I don’t think she minded though. She gave out big handfuls of candy to each child who came to our door.

She also ate more candy than she has in her entire short life so far. A big lollipop, assorted sweet tart things, a gummy brain, part of a tootsie roll…and that’s just what I witnessed. She was (and I kid you not) HIGH AS A KITE. It was absolutely hilarious when it wasn’t annoying the hell out of me. (You try diapering a two year old on a candy high. Not. Fun.)

Here’s a shot of her running around our front porch at the peak of her “trip”:

“Hey, man. You got any good stuff? I need another fix. Sweet-tarts? Hershey’s? Charlston Chews? Seriously, dude. I’ll take anything.”

Halloween is pretty great and kids make it even better. I look forward to next year when the festivities will have even more meaning for her. Hope you had a spooky-great Halloween.

Fear

I’ve always had some trouble with stairs. I don’t really know why, but I just don’t feel comfortable unless I can watch my feet hitting each step. If I can’t, I tend to over think my movements and often I end up stumbling a little. I’ve never taken a bad fall, but it’s always on my mind. Especially on the steps in my house. They are steep and hard – all wood and kind of slippery.

One of my biggest fears, when KC was just a baby, was that that Ted or I would be carrying her down those stairs and we would trip and fall. Both Ted and I have slipped and fallen about halfway down by ourselves. Nothing like that ever happened with our fragile little girl, but it was on my mind a lot. If the two of us were up in the office with her and Ted carried her down the stairs without me, I’d have “a moment”. I’d sit in my chair, frozen and not breathing, palms starting to sweat a little. I’d hold that pose for a few seconds until I knew they were both down safe and sound.

Behold. The slippery stairs of death.

I know this may sound kind of silly, but if you’ve ever been to my house and gone up and down those stairs you probably understand. Plus, let’s face it, as a brand new parent it doesn’t take much to make you feel paranoid about hurting your new, fragile “package”. A lot of parents make “mountains out of mole hills” in those first few months thanks to the intense pressure created when you are thrust rather abruptly into the role as guardian of something so small and (seemingly) breakable.

Ever seen a dude hold a baby for the first time? I still hold other people’s babies like that.

Months passed and KC learned to crawl, then walk. Those stairs remained closed to her for quite some time. I didn’t have the stomach to let her scale them even when she began to get more confident on her feet. Finally, about 4 or 5 months ago (give or take) we started letting her go up by herself. Going down has been carefully watched and I encourage the “on your bum” method as much as possible. She’s incredibly agile so I have started to get a little complacent. I don’t run to her every time she tries to climb the slide out back, or when she takes the less scary steps in front of our house. She’s proven time and time again she can handle it.

Then on Saturday my fear of the stairs inside was realized if only for a few moments. Let me stop here and just say SHE IS FINE. Because I know what you are thinking right now. Yes, she did fall down the stairs. She fell from about halfway up, although I cannot say for sure because I was not watching. I was not watching. Stupid. She’s gotten so good at going up and down that I let her go by herself while I tried to finish up something on my computer. She grabbed a couple of small toys and said “Downstairs now”. I said “Go ahead.”, reminded her of the “bum method” and went about my business.

Even in the back of my mind the voice of reason hinted that with toys in hand the journey could be dangerous. I heard the toys hit and bounce a few times. For a split second I prayed that she just dropped them, but then I heard her cry. That’s when I realized I had also heard a series of soft thuds alongside those little plastic toys.

Fear always seems to hit you in the torso doesn’t it? It’s like your heart and stomach come to attention at the exact same time.

The good thing is she cried immediately. It would have been worse if she didn’t make a sound. I ran down, scooped her up and carefully sat her on the couch to inspect her for injury. A few red areas where she hit hands and knees, not even a bad bump on the head. She was ok. She cried, but also asked to see a book that was sitting nearby. It took less than one minute for her to calm down and start playing again. It took a little longer for my heart to stop racing. I honestly felt like I was going to puke for about an hour or so.

I gathered our things together and we got in the car as planned to drive the three hours to GG and Gramps house near the beach. We had a wonderful weekend together. Just us girls playing on the playground in Bethany and wading in the ocean waves. I love her so much. Just like any parent, I have that dark worry in the back of my mind at all times. Something could happen to her. Something really bad. I think often about kids who are really sick and spend so much time in hospitals. How do those parents survive that constant fear? I think about parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child by illness or accident. Then there is the possibility of kidnapping and abuse. It’s enough to make you hide your kid inside forever.

My own parents have endured the loss of my brother, Scott, due to suicide. That’s a really tough one to mention here because I know my Mom will read this and I HATE the idea that I’ll surprise her with unexpected feelings of sadness. However, it plays a big role in my own fears if I’m being honest. Experiencing that kind of tragedy opens a bad portal where fear of the unexpected can flow in easier than before. It lives with you from that point on. Quietly sitting in the periphery like a dark shadow. Not always interfering, but definitely always there. Making sure you don’t forget that life can change in an instant and you’ll never see it coming. If I don’t acknowledge the loss of my brother when speaking of this, it’s the elephant in the room.

Since it was my loss too, I have a pretty good idea of how bad it really is for my Mom and Dad that they lost their son, one of their babies. It doesn’t matter if the child is 3 months or almost 30 years old. He’s still your baby. Anyone, parent or not, can wrap their brain around that one and feel sympathy. However, it’s not until you actually become a parent that you can empathize to a degree. Even if you haven’t lost your own child. After just two short years, the love I feel for KC is so strong that the thought of anything happening to her is unimaginable. It has added a decidedly different emotion to the many that I already feel regarding the loss of my brother. It gives a much more clear understanding of how that loss affects my parents every single day.

This post has gone longer and in a much different direction than I intended. I don’t want to end on a sad note, but it’s hard not to feel a little sad when contemplating these things. I guess the trick is (and so far I think I’m doing ok at it) that you have to remember that you cannot control everything that happens in this world and you have to try and accept that. It’s a chaotic and (let’s be honest) fucked-up place a lot of the time. It’s also a beautiful place. Even with all the loss and the pain we endure. There is so much beauty all around if you look for it. I see it especially in the people who take those horrible hits, get back up again and keep on living themselves.

Life is too short. Life is scary and, for some people, much harder than seems fair. Life pretty much sucks, but it is also a real gift. I don’t want fear to stand in the way of enjoying my own life. I especially don’t want my fear to stand in the way of letting KC have lots of good moments for herself. Even if those moments happen far from me, where I cannot hold her hand as she goes down the stairs*.

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*Of course if those “stairs” involve a career as the first female to perform stunts more death-defying than Evel Knievel,  you might just see me running behind her with a giant foam mattress screaming about helmets and knee pads.  I’m a pretty big supporter of letting people (kids included) choose their own path, but I am a Mother after all.

“TWO” Much

She’s going to be two in one month exactly. TWO! Today she is 23 months old. Amazing. Time flies much too fast. Did I mention that in numerous other posts already? Yeah, I guess I did. However, it bears repeating often. So I can remind myself how important it is to enjoy the moments we are in RIGHT NOW.

We work too much in this house. Me with my full-time job, plus freelance in the evenings. And Ted. Ted has so much work to do they make his team come in 7 days at a stretch lately. (Lord, please help Ted’s boss realize he is not a cyborg. For real. He is human. I promise.) Thankfully this weekend is a break. He needs it. We both need it. KC needs both of us to just be there and to relax. Of course there will be chores and jobs around the house, but paychecks don’t care about those so we might slack a little bit. Working is a necessary thing in life. It seems that more and more these days BOTH parents working is a necessary thing. It’s not easy. My hat’s off to couples who can manage on one income. Especially if that income is less than six figures. Don’t even get me started on how much I admire the single parent. Gah.

Remember when you were little and you used to pretend to be grown-up? It seemed like adults had the life. Stay up as late as you want, buy whatever you want…as if. One of my best friends and I used to play “office”. It seemed like having your own phone and stapler was very sophisticated. Wow. How little we knew. Then again, maybe we knew a lot more than we know now. We knew how to PLAY. We knew how to enjoy the simple things in life and see fun in so many places. Sometimes I forget how to play. KC is helping me with that. With a small child you have to find time to play. You have to be able to slow down and enjoy stuff. You cannot get impatient when a two year old is doing something. Everything is still pretty new. Everything takes a little more time.

Dear GOD! Walk in the door already! It’s time to go inside. Mommy needs to sit down. That rock isn’t going anywhere, I promise.

Ahem. Where was I? Oh right. Being patient. She’s so beautiful these days. So funny too. Running wild in a diaper (or naked) and Hello Kitty rain boots. She’s fun to watch. And you do have to stop and watch, because before we know it she leaps into the next phase and grows 2 more inches. She’s especially beautiful when she’s still and she’s watching something. Her eyes get soft and her mouth is a perfect little rosebud. She’s not still that often so it’s cool when I can capture it. For proof that she’s not actually blurry in real life. She’s quite vivid and sharp actually. Picture perfect.

Welcome to EXOTIC DULUTH!*

Every time anyone asked Ted where we were headed for vacation, he would say with a grin, “Exotic Duluth!” (Minnesota, that is.) Totally makes me laugh. I guess it’s funny because most people don’t think of Minnesota when they think of an exotic or exciting getaway. However, truth be told, northern MN is pretty spectacular in the summertime. I would know. I’ve been going there almost every summer since I was born.

So! Vacation came and went. I’ve been off the blog so long, I’m not even sure what to write. I guess I’ll start where I left off.

WE FLEW. ON AN AIRPLANE. WITH AN ALMOST TWO YEAR OLD. AND WE LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT.

Yes, my stomach was in knots on the flight out there. Yes, KC did get a tad rambunctious on the first leg of our flight out. However, after that, she was completely chill. She slept on the 2nd flight to Minneapolis from Chicago. We had a brief glimpse of hell in the terminal on our journey back home when KC decided to pick the waiting area just 20 minutes shy of boarding to morph into a complete freak. She ran around and screamed bloody murder whenever we tried to hold her or stop her. She even picked this time to take a crap in her ALREADY JUST CHANGED diaper. This resulted in me wrestling her on the floor of the bathroom stall to perform the quickest change ever due to the fact that the plane was boarding and had already called “Group 4″ by that time. Blaag@#$%aaalalalala&*%$#gahhh. (New word. Feel free to use it.)

Miraculously, she got it all out of her system and morphed back to the adorable child I actually gave birth to just as we got on the plane. She really seemed to dig the planes. I also think she “got it” when we pointed to them out on the tarmac and told her, “We are getting on a plane!”

Basically, any Fear of Flying I had disappeared. Also, may I take a moment to add that the portable DVD player is the most ingenious invention know to mankind. For real. My daughter watched TONS of videos while we were on this trip and – I MAKE NO APOLOGY FOR IT. NONE. (She watches lots at home too. I make only minor apologies for that.)

HOOKED UP!

Seriously though, we had a great trip. We got to do so many things and KC had so many firsts…first zoo visit…first aquarium…first time meeting some of our cousins…first time seeing the Gordon family cabin and first time seeing so many of the landmarks that I grew up seeing on vacations with my parents. It was really awesome. WE HAD FUN. All three of us.

The amazing views from our rental cabin didn’t hurt either. We were really excited about this place and it totally delivered. Worth every penny. (It’s called Breezy Point in case you are ever in Two Harbors.)

Pictured here: Exotic Two Harbors

We drove around a lot on this trip. From a Duluth hotel, to the Two Harbors cabin and on to another hotel near Minneapolis. All the driving and packing and visiting could have made for some crabby moods on all our parts, but that didn’t ever really happen. Of course we each had minor moments. Daddy got pretty irate at AVIS on the way home. (Some nonsense about it costing $136 because we got the car back an hour late. I’m not even totally sure. AVIS, you officially suck to us now.) KC had quite a few moments in restaurants as well. Apparently we don’t do well at restaurants anymore. Just in time for vacation! Sweet! No big deal though. There was always room service, full kitchenettes or family cooking for us in places where “a kid can be a kid”. The misbehaving stayed at a minimum and generally only came from those under two(ish)…

See? Very minimal. Daddy is really quite happy here.

I want to thank all our family (both Gordon AND Doran) who were so hospitable while we were there. You guys made it easier for us to relax. GG and Gramps even took KC for two separate nights while Daddy and Mommy got drunk had romantic time together. Other family members gave us much needed breaks while we visited them via cousins who were of babysitting age. (Hmm. Babysitters. It’s about time we found one of those here in VA.) Really the biggest negative from this trip is the horrific pile of laundry I am working my way through. I packed too much, yet managed to not have enough clothes. Figures.

*To those who came to this post hoping for travel/city info on either Duluth, MN or Duluth, GA, my deepest apologies for misleading you. If you read the whole thing anyway, thanks! You totally rock. Either that or you were just to dumb to stop reading and continue your info search elsewhere. If you scrolled to the bottom as soon as you saw the asterisk in the title you are obviously too smart for this blog. Go away.

Snippets

I read a post on another blogger’s site that was simply a list of cute/funny things her girls do that she wants to remember. Good idea. So many things go on that don’t prompt me to draft an entire blog post, but they are still worth recording. Here are some of the most recent things that KC does that make us laugh, smile and/or sigh in frustration (and then laugh later):

Every night before her bath, she must run stark naked from the bathroom to the kitchen, squealing and laughing the whole time. She makes it to the dishwasher, stands with her bare bum and palms pressed against it, a look of mischief on her face, then runs back towards the bathroom again. The first couple of times we tried to stop her, but now it’s become part of the routine. “Here comes naked baby!”

*****

She seems to think “home” means wherever we happen to be going. At Grandma’s when we arrive to pick her up after work, she goes to the door and says, “Home.” In the mornings as we near time to go to Grandma’s she stands near the door and says, “Home.” Or, maybe she just feels that comfortable at Grandma’s.

*****

She LOVES to wear my shoes. (Ted’s sometimes too, but they are much bigger and more difficult to operate.) She’s gotten very adept at slipping into my flip flops and walking across the floor. She even manages the two stairs in the kitchen. Shoes and hats. This girl is going to be good at accessorizing.

*****

In the bath she lines up a bunch of her little plastic characters on the side of the tub, then carefully places other objects on their heads like little hats. She does this so carefully and accurately. Then she shuffles them around into a different line-up while trying to keep the “hats” balanced.

*****

Ted asked her over the weekend, “Who do you love more, Daddy or Mommy?” KC replies, “Mommy.” (Dad makes a sad face.) Ted asks her, “Who is more fun, Mommy or Daddy?” KC replies, “Daddy.” (Ted smiles, I roll my eyes and suggest she’s repeating the last word she hears. Ted considers this.) I ask her, “Who do you love more, Mommy or Daddy?” KC replies, “Daddy.” Yep. I thought so.

*****

Just as having milk in a bottle has become a habit based in comfort, watching TV has become a habit based in the fact that Mommy and Daddy have it running all the time. We have become Noggin junkies. Before, she would simply asked for a bottle as soon as we plopped her down in the living room after the pick up from Grandma’s in the evening. Now it’s “Bottle.” followed very closely by “TV.” Uh-oh.

*****

All she wants lately is to be outside, or as she calls it, “Side.” That’s probably a lot better than Noggin all day. Except when it’s raining. Or when it’s after 7 pm. Ted and I have to put our foot down then. We are pretty good about switching off to watch her when she wants to go “side”. Often we all go “side”, because, truly, it’s summer and we could all use the fresh air and sunshine.

*****

She likes to use the word “stuck”. I open the door to the car to help her out of the carseat, she’s arching her back saying, “Stuck”. She wedges herself between our legs as we sit on the couch and declares herself, “Stuck”. After finishing dinner this evening she got a very frustrated look on her face, pushed and sighed at the highchair tray as she exclaimed, (all together now) “Stuck. Stuck!”

*****

I love it when Ted chases her around the house. He hides behind corners and waits. She knows that he’s hiding and will jump out soon. The anxious anticipation on her face as she approaches the area where he’s disappeared is just wonderful. “Ahhhhh-rrrr!” Ted shouts as he jumps back into view. She jumps a little and giggles a lot. She doesn’t scare easily.

*****

The weight of her body, her squirmy legs and the softness of her wispy hair under my nose as she sits on my lap in the evenings for TV and books. I will miss that when she’s too big for such things. She doesn’t need to lay in my lap so much anymore to get settled for bedtime. The past few nights we’ve simply taken her to bed, still awake, and declared it “bedtime”. She fusses some, but generally goes down without a fight. It just dawned on me this very moment. The old ritual of “waiting her out” as she lays on my lap has given me a lot of sweet moments with her (also frustrating moments on nights when it drags too late). It has started to fade into the past. No more drifting away in Mommy’s lap each night. Hopefully a few more times, but soon she won’t need it. It was inevitable I suppose. Sweet dreams little one. Tomorrow is a new day.

Sweet Presence

“There’s going to be a baby in this crib.” That was the thought I had mere weeks before KC was born. My belly big. Looking down at the empty crib just waiting for her arrival. Sheets and blankets inviting and soft. “There’s going to be a baby in this crib. I wonder what she will look like.”

Tonight as I gently lay her down to sleep, as I often do, I thought of that moment. When it really hit me. She was coming. Soon. My baby. I was finally going to see her, feel her. That same afternoon, Ted and I took the baby monitor out back to see how far it would keep a strong signal. We had hit the button on a mobile that played a sweet song. We could hear it clearly in the back yard. I got a little teary-eyed thinking of it. He put a hand on my shoulder in a gesture that said, “I know how you feel.”

This memory is a strong one. I felt I should write it down. Before it fades too much. Ted’s sister and her husband are patiently awaiting the arrival of daughter number two. She’s due any day now. Does it feel like that for the second child too? I  imagine it does. This presence that it there, but not quite there yet. “There’s going to be a baby in this crib.”

What a blessing.

Summer Vacation (It’s family time, dammit.)

Summertime is all about vacations. At least it should be. I am really excited because Ted and I just finished booking our hotel/cabin for our visit to Minnesota. I’ve spent so many summer vacations up north and I’m excited to be taking KC on her first real vacation to the place that holds such great memories for me. (Real meaning the first time she will be flying on a plane and be away from home for more than a weekend.) My family has an awesome little cabin on Bassett Lake. It’s such a huge part of my vacation history. I feel a tad guilty that we don’t jump at the chance to stay there with my Mom and Dad. Lord knows it would cost us a lot less! I think they understand though.

Ted and I are in desperate need of this vacation for ourselves as a couple. We need some alone time. Some “no work, low stress, just kick back and relax” time. What better way to do that than with hot running water and a splendid view of Lake Superior? Oh, and the cabin we are renting has a deck and a fire pit. Roasted marshmallows, anyone? I am trying not to think of the credit card bill because it will be awful even if we go for an economy hotel. At this cabin we can cook for ourselves and buy beer on sale at a grocery store. It has a kitchenette so that ought to save us some “beans”. Eating out every day adds up quickly. I am feeling relief today because it’s done. The decision is made and now we just have to wait, pack and fly on up there.

We have to fly. With a 21 month old. Crap, ya’ll. I’m so nervous about that part. KC is such a joy these days. So full of personality and energy. It’s cool to watch her. However, she’s very active and busy. I’m so nervous about having her confined to strollers and seats for an entire day. It could be fine…I could be paranoid for no reason. But, then again, it could also equal meltdown city. I guess I just have to stay positive and keep my sense of  humor. Hopefully we don’t get stuck next to a total asshole (or 2) who hates kids.

I’ve already started running over all the places we can take her. Duluth down by the harbor is awesome. Hopefully wherever we are we can find a playground with swings. (That kid loves to swing. I need to make her a t-shirt or a bumper sticker for her wagon that says, “I’d rather be swinging.”) There is also Deer Park, a petting zoo that we always loved as kids. Is it still there?? I hope so. I don’t think we can take her to the Alpine Slides in Lutsen just yet. Maybe a couple of years from now. I’ll have to research activities in the area. Ted and I love watching KC have fun.

By the way, Mom, if you are reading this, don’t even say “Ironworld”. I know you are thinking about suggesting it to be funny. See how well I know you?

Our family cabin will be a blast too. I’m looking forward to taking her in the water, maybe for a boat ride. She has only been swimming once. Last July. However, she really seemed to like it. We’ll have to get her a little life jacket or something. One whole month to go before we leave. It will go fast. All the time seems to go too fast these days. I cannot wait.

Here’s to summertime…

Photos taken in Solomon’s Island, MD

Trees Are People Too

Something really sad happened. The “Honking Tree” in Minnesota was cut down by a vandal with a chain saw. This tree stood alone on the median of the highway which runs from Duluth to Two Harbors (among other places). It was the route we took to get to my Grandma and Grandpa’s house every summer. Up and back we’d go, numerous times…to Barker’s Island, to Miller Hill Mall in Duluth, to start our long drive back home again to VA. My Grandpa Bing was great when it came to the Honking Tree. He’d always be sure we kids knew it was coming up. It’s funny, because until yesterday when my cousin shared this awful news with me, I actually thought it was just our family and friends that honked at that big tree. Turns out it was a well known landmark by everyone. So well known in fact, that is was considered as a historical tree by a national, non-profit organization. Here’s the article my cousin shared about the vandalism that gives some background on the tree:

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‘Honking tree’ near Two Harbors cut down
Steve Kuchera – 04/30/2009

The tall, lone white pine that has long stood in the grassy median of the Two Harbors expressway, welcoming people driving north to Two Harbors, was cut down by one or more vandals overnight. “It was reported by a MnDOT worker this morning at 6:15,” Lake County Sheriff’s Department dispatcher John Brandt said. “He [the MnDOT employee] was driving up to work in Two Harbors here and drove past there. He said something didn’t look right, so he turned back around. The tree was laying there. Someone had cut it down with a chainsaw.” Many locals know the tree as “the honking tree.” It’s customary to honk when passing the tree. No one knows when the tradition started. Some Minnesota Department of Transportation officials know it as “Charlie’s tree” for Charlie J. Hensley, who was chief inspector when the expressway was built in the 1960s. Hensley died in 1967. “He used to sit there [under the tree] and have his lunch,” MnDOT regional spokesman John Bray said. “He ordered the contractor to make sure that while the expressway was being built that that tree not be touched. “In those days we tended to slash and burn — it was clear cut everything,” Bray said. “We didn’t have the environmental ethics that we have today. But Charlie had it then. He cared about the environment before the environment was on the tongue of anybody.” The 75-foot-tall pine tree, which stood about three miles south of Two Harbors near the Larsmont Road, was nominated for inclusion on the National Register of Historic Trees, a list kept by the Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit American Forests. Anyone with information on who cut it down is asked to call the Lake County Sheriff’s Office at (218) 834-8385.

*****

This has really made me think about the impact trees have on us. I’m not just talking about the way they create oxygen, or are homes to animals. I’m not even talking about all the stuff we make with trees, like furniture, houses and paper products. I’m talking about how every single one of us has probably had at least one tree in our life that was special. Like a friend or family member. Sound a little silly? Think about it.

Here are some of mine:

• Obviously the “honking tree”.
• The tree that was planted by my Mom and Dad in our old front yard and grew as we grew. It had star-shaped leaves and big, prickly gumballs that covered the yard. (Much to my father’s annoyance, I’m sure.)
• All the trees that made up the “Fairy Fort” that my best friends and I spent hours playing under as if it were a magical place. It was.
• The beautiful willow tree in the same friend’s back yard whose branches touched the ground and made a complete canopy.
• A tree in my backyard that had that perfect hollow spot, a big hole right in front that must have housed some animal at some point. Or, at least we kids imagined. I think we put things in there a few times!

I’m sure if I think long enough, I’ll come up with more. Now I am married with a house of my own. We have some really big, old trees here too. In fact we just put a swing on the branch of one for KC. She adores it. She would swing all day if we let her. If we are here long enough, I’m sure that will be one of her first special trees.

It’s sad to me that the “Honking Tree” is gone so suddenly. We have our first visit to Minnesota with KC this July. If that tree weren’t destroyed by some idiot, perhaps that too would have become her special tree. You can be sure I will still tell her the story when she’s older. So much changes over time. Many things have to change. It’s just life for better or worse. However, some things are just taken, or destroyed by ignorant people and that really sucks. Maybe someone will plant a new tree for a new generation. There’s a nice thought.

Love at first swing.

The Final Blow

On Sunday, as we drove down route 1 toward toward my sister and brother in-law’s house for breakfast and more Easter baskets, Ted saw something he wasn’t expecting. The property where his family’s automotive business once operated had finally been cleared of the house his grandfather built. Doran’s Automotive had been a landmark business on rte. 1 in Alexandria for many, many years. First an automotive shop, gas station and even a small motel, it had been a huge part of Ted’s life since the day he was born. I cannot even say for sure what year his Grandfather opened the business, but you can bet I’ll give more details in future posts. I can tell you that when the house and business were built, rte. 1 was just a dirt road.

That place, and Ted’s family, saw a lot of changes. I was lucky enough to see the shop up close and personal during my engagement to Ted. By then the gas station and motel part of the business were long gone, but they were still servicing cars and selling parts and supplies. For a little while after we were married, we even lived in his Grandparent’s house. And, before that, I visited often when Ted and a couple of buddies lived there together after college. It became the “bachelor pad to end all bachelor pads”. Wow, the parties they threw! It was, quite simply, a house like no other. Completely unique and full of good memories for many people. I loved it with only my limited experience there. I cannot even imagine how hard it is for Ted to see it gone.

Ted’s father and his Uncle ran the automotive business together after it was passed on to them by their Father, Ted’s grandfather. From what Ted tells me the shop did particularly well during the 80’s and into the early 90’s. However, as the Pep Boys and Jiffy Lube franchises started to crop up more and more, people didn’t seem to frequent the family-owned, local businesses quite as much. Sure, they had a good core of customers and friends who would never think of going elsewhere, however, as Ted’s Dad neared retirement it was pretty clear that selling the shop was inevitable if he ever wanted to stop working. And, believe me, he deserved to stop working. Every day but Sunday that place was open and Ted’s dad was there.

I know the fact that the business could not be passed on to him made my husband very sad. I don’t blame his Dad and Uncle for selling the business. It was the only decision they could have made. However, I feel great sadness for Ted that he wasn’t able to carry on the business. He loved it. I plan to ask him to share with me some of the history when I can take some notes. I’ve heard so many stories, but it’s tough to recall all the details sitting here now. I know Ted will want to share this wonderful family history with his daughter. I hope I can help him start to do that here. In the meantime here are two photos of Doran’s in it’s hey-day.

SG – Super Great

My brother Scott would have been 33 yesterday. I wanted to post about him on his actual Birthday, but I just didn’t do it. Part of the problem is that I find it hard to know what to say. I don’t want to post something too heavy and sad, because we get enough of that in our heads, my Mom, Dad and I. I’ve decided that when I talk about my brother on this blog, I want it to be through good stories. Stories that will remind me, and later tell KC, how funny and cool he really was. Driving home from work yesterday I recalled this memory…

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Scott was incredibly funny and creative. When he wasn’t teasing me relentlessly, he was definitely making me laugh. (Or at least leaving me alone long enough that I could recover and be ready for the next round of harassment all little brothers are required to give their sisters.) He used to say that his initials, SG, actually stood for “Super Great”. “You mean ‘Super Geek!’” I would taunt. Oh, but I was clever wasn’t I?

SG – Super Great was notorious for torturing our poor cat, Coors. By torture I mean including her in games I am quite sure she didn’t really want to be a part of. My favorite was when he devised a contraption with our laundry basket to catch her. With basket tied to a rope that ran over the kitchen counter, he would wait for his prey. (Think Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner.) When the unsuspecting Coors would pass through the kitchen on the other side, he would drop the plastic cage at the precise moment and she’d be trapped inside. I think he even used his yellow blanket once or twice. Tied on the corners to catch her in a “net”. Devious!

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I will share more good memories down the line. I have written two other posts about Scott, which you can find here and here if you like. In the first, I share some links to good organizations involved in Suicide Awareness and Prevention. Since my brother’s death so many others have come forward to tell me they also have been affected by suicide in some way. My heart goes out to those of you in that category if you are reading this post. It’s a very difficult loss to live with.